For some rookie father or mother who comes through here, I will tell you a little secret: much of the conversations that you will have with other adults during the baby's first years will have poop as the main theme, especially that of your son who for that it is yours and you have given birth (or been half responsible for it failing that).
It doesn't matter how much you intend not to have such conversations, or the disgust that you think about that topic right now, if there is something certain, you will end up talking about it, about That great and well-known topic of conversation between parents, your child's poop.
As soon as you have your child in the room at the hospital, the first thing each of the medical staff who enters the room will tell you will be "Have you pooped yet?" I'm sorry to disappoint you if you expected them to ask if you need anything or coincide with you in praise for the offspring, that will come later, now what matters is whether or not the creature has left in the diaper the first of the many gifts that will be planted over the next three years, year up, year down.
Take the opportunity to take a picture of the "little gift" because you will not see another one again unless you have another child or work asphalting roads or cleaning oil tankers.
After this first contact with your child's escapes, we move on to the second thing that nobody tells you before becoming a father. The times a baby of a few days is able to stain the diaper. You, accustomed to a cadence of one, two or at most three times / day you find yourself changing diapers every hour and a half, and that if you are lucky, it is normal that at least one in three you have to make a complete change of diaper, body, shirt, shirt, pants, etc.
This stage lasts a few months, more or less until they begin to eat other foods other than milk and the poop begins to compact and resemble more an attack with mustard gas. Say goodbye to that smell of sour milk that went unnoticed at social gatherings, now even the restaurant next door will find out that your son carries a load in the diaper and a small load, because it is at this moment that we enter the wonderful world of diaper poop types, your mother-in-law's favorite theme and the pediatrician's waiting room.
I am going to give you a little advance on this subject so that you can defend yourself.
The poops have three main components, their smell, their shape and their consistency. Then there is the amount that is also important, especially when the amount is low (reason for 30% of visits to the pediatrician).
Types and categories
Based on all the above parameters we have different types or categories of gifts.
The squirrel's tail: It is that of soft consistency, throwing liquid that has surpassed the diaper protections and has been climbing up the back of the baby on the way to the crown leaving a stain that makes your child look like a funny (though affectionately stinking) rodent.
Where is the ball? You have been seeing your baby making efforts for five minutes, you have seen him put on all possible reddish tones, even a couple of purples and h clench so much fists that his nails are marked. You open the diaper and you find an olive. But where is the rest?
The mustard gas attack: It is the worst of all because you do not expect it, you have to be a true professional and have the pituitary of Coco Chanel to realize it. You open the diaper and in less than three seconds an unbearable smell has flooded the house. The intensity is such that even the dog has gone out to the garden to breathe. Be careful the next two days when using the perfume since your pituitary will not be functional again in a while.
The Martian: But what does this do here? It is the first thing you ask yourself when you see the content and it is that next to the material of every day there is an unidentified object and believe me, it is better to close and not ask again where it could have come from, you probably know the answer and it will not like.
Oversized: It is seen coming as soon as you take your baby in your arms. That diaper has happened to occupy three times the normal size which makes you think how many hours you have been without changing it. Do not worry, it is normal that they have not been too many, just your son has decided to throw the house through the window, literally and you will find in the diaper enough load to pay the petunias the next two decades. You are going to ask yourself the same thing we all asked ourselves when we saw something like that for the first time, how? I can only say that nature is mysterious.
Another little tip What I could give you is that it is not a good idea to have a baby without a diaper too long, especially at the beginning and when I say too long I mean more than ten minutes. The normal thing is that when you are free, you decide to drop everything inside. That is why it is likely that your baby decides to redecorate the pediatrician's examination table. Do not worry, you have a bad time, it is inevitable but you will not be the first or the last to what happens to them. Welcome to the eschatological part of your new life.
And what other gifts have you found in the diaper?
