Social networks and the Internet are very positive in our lives because they are helping to generate and promote changes that would otherwise hardly occur. It is likely that lately you are seeing various blog entries referring to spontaneous abortion, children who are not born, etc. The reason is that they are very hard events in the lives of people who in reality they are poorly understood by the environment to the point that many women end up living in silence, almost not bothering, almost as if trying to show that "I don't think about my baby anymore" (because others expect that, that you overcome it, that "I wasn't even born", that "better now than late" and "better now that you are young").
Like in Babies and more we refuse to normalize these messages and we advocate giving voice to all women and men who go through that, and accompany them in a "we understand you, you are free to express your feelings", today we wanted to give visibility to a different way of living the sadness of children who do not get ahead: some parents who lost their twins who finally have a picture with all their children.
As we read in Babycenter, Katy Patten and her husband received in 2011 the news that they were expecting twins. A premature delivery at 23 weeks truncated the nine months of waiting and, although doctors did their best to stop the delivery, Aiden and Gavin arrived in the world two days apart. The two had a heartbeat, but were not able to breathe on their own and, not long after, died.
Although it was a short life for both of them, and although the family and the environment, with the best of intentions but the worst of the results, advised them to turn the page and keep looking forward, they decided not to fight their feelings and chose more logical, accept the loss and never forget it.
A photo, birthday, a necklace, a tattoo ...
And not to forget, Katy and her husband decided to have a photo for the memory, work, of Lulu B. Photography, in which "all came out", which hung over the fireplace.
In addition, she wears a necklace in which she keeps a little of the ashes of the two babies and a tattoo with the names of her children and her little feet. Even on the birthday of Aiden and Gavin they make a celebration with cakes.
It is impossible to forget something like that
I think everything they have done is great, and I love the detail of the photo. Why forget? If it is impossible! I can understand that family members, friends, suggest in the event of trying to turn the page and "cover" the loss with new children: "you are young, you can have more." This is because we cannot bear the suffering of others. We do not know what to do, how to face it, so we try to give an answer that covers that cry as soon as possible, that look of sadness. And we believe that with one phrase we achieve it ... and we think that we have achieved it when the other stops showing disgust and tells you that it is much better.
But no, not much better, it's just that little by little he learns to live with it. But it is no longer worth showing yourself clearly if crying, if dark circles cry, if thinking continuously about the unborn baby causes new attempts to solve others: "Are you not gloating too much in your suffering? ? "" Shouldn't you go to the doctor? Maybe if you took something ... ". And that's why couples just shut up and say "good" when they should say "we will never get over this, but we will learn to live with it".
If we only put ourselves a little in the place of those parents, if we thought about it a little before speaking ... perhaps we would give less absurd solutions, but it is not easy either, because the mere fact of trying to put ourselves in their place also hurts, and we are not either prepared for that pain because since childhood they have forbidden us to feel anything other than joy.
