I have been a father for 10 years and as such (and as editor in a maternity and paternity blog) I have often seen things that did not add up to the functioning of our society in regards to expecting a baby, having it and raising it.
One of the most shocking is the hypocrisy with which one speaks of motherhood and fatherhood when you are not yet a father, the pressure exerted on couples to have children, and how alone and abandoned they feel later when they are already parents. That's why today we talk about this, about the hypocrisy of pushing you to have children and then asking you to hide your motherhood.
Be parents, have children
Find a partner, live together, form a family with children, if you can be “the couple”, and be very happy. It seems as if you have to mark all the items to be a normal person, because having a partner and not having children is something that many people do not understand, for example, and that is why they are told that “to see when you have a baby”, “I would love to be a grandmother”, “you will pass the rice”, etc.
Imagine how heavy the people can be that a couple of months ago decided to show their new "baby" to the family, with a series of photos in which they went out with their puppy, in case they understood them at once.
The fact is that society pushes you to have children, and when you achieve a pregnancy people get very happy, because you are going to be a mother or father, something precious ... then ask you to delete as soon as possible the trace of all this.
Recover the figure as soon as possible
There are more and more women who after having a baby take pictures and show themselves with their real bodies, as they are, to break at once with that tendency or belief that the figure must be recovered as soon as possible What you had before pregnancy.
Erase pregnancy, erase your belly, erase everything. Already, of course you can not erase a pregnancy and childbirth, but try it, sacrifice yourself for it, make it possible, because if you are not going to feel bad, you will not recognize yourself, and the others will take care of making you see it.
It is unfortunate, but it is: it seems that the normal, logical and desirable is that nobody knows that your body had a baby, because if you do not succeed they will tell you that you have not yet lost the extra kilos, well, with a face of sorrow for you, and if you get it they will tell you that "you are great".
And to the parents, why does nobody tell us that we are great? Well, it is because the tendency is for us to be worse (with more belly and more flaccid) over the years ... the difference is that we do not go through pregnancy and childbirth and nobody judges us for the pre and post. But come on, nobody tells us and we don't care: "Yes, I know I have more belly and no, I don't care at all."
Take them to nursery school
That they are doing very well, that there they are very scared, that with you at home they will not learn enough, that you are not an expert and there they know what a child needs. Get rid of your child so that from a young age they can be done by others, but not you. And you, take the opportunity to perform as a person through your work.
That is not so, that in reality a baby you need is your mother or father, who stays with him, to give affection, security and to set an example. Come on, there is no better way to learn than with someone to teach you what life is like in everyday life. There will be time to meet other children and interact with them. As much as all childhood, basically.
Back to work
But of course, if as I say you want to perform as a person, you will have to go back to work, they tell you, because apparently that being a mother does not have any logic, I guess because you do not earn money. Because we are going to see, there are women who leave their children with other people to take care of them, who go to work taking care of the children of others, right ?. The educators of nursery schools have their own children, some, and work taking care of the children of other women. They are not done? Or yes because they are charging money?
Let's say that each woman can perform as she sees fit, some working, and others taking care of her children (and others doing both). Even men can feel fulfilled doing all this (in case anyone has doubts). But society has been in charge of making those who work well and those who do not feel good, either making them feel maintained, either making them feel out of society (the invisibility of mothers), or turning their backs on do something that other mothers have not done ("nor that they will give him a prize for being a better mother ...").
Don't bother
And then, in addition, they ask you that your son doesn't bother. That he behaves well, that he does not make noise, that he does not cry, that he does not touch anything ... that yes, that the children must be educated so that they respect others and that we all have it clear, but from there to not let them be Children there is a stretch.
And people seem to be bothered: weddings without children, hotels without children, villages without children, etc. That in the end there are parents who even believe it and start looking for weekend getaways without children, someone who takes care of them one day to do I don't know what together and they even start to feel upset at home with the children, because they make noise , because they go to bed late, because they are not like other children or because they are not like others say they should be: calm children, calm, obedient and that leave you time for you, time to continue enjoying life, because yes, have children, which is precious, but that they do not behave as such, and you, because you do not notice You've had it Well, that, the hypocrisy of sending opposite messages to parents and making them feel increasingly confused with their fatherhood and less tolerant of their children's normal behavior.
