A few days ago I told you in an article that when we became mothers, we got to lose some friendships for various reasons.
One of them was to have opposing opinions on issues of parenting, which not knowing how to handle it in a respectful way, can become the reason for the break with one of our friends.
I think that motherhood should unite us, not divide us, and that's why I want to share some tips to maintain a good relationship when your parenting style is different from your friends.
There is a parenting style for each mother
Just as each child is different, each mother is also different. What works for one child, will not necessarily work for another. The same principle applies to all mothers and their parenting styles.
Sometimes I get the impression that previously all mothers raised the same and that having different parenting styles is something of the last decades. Before everyone raised at home as best they could and now.
When I see groups of mothers attack and discuss what is better, I wonder if the mothers before would have had the same discussions we see today. I think that in large part this famous "mother's war" has increased with the use of social networks.
Now, I don't want to say that social networks are bad at all or that they only contribute negative things to the maternal world. I consider that its benefits can be many, especially so that those who are the only one of their group of friends with children find other moms friends or so that first-time mothers who are full of doubts have a space in which they can consult them with others who They are living the same as them.
But in a way, having access to so much information and in such open forums gives us the opportunity to express our point of view, sometimes in a somewhat disrespectful way. There are countless topics that can start a long discussion among mothers: colecho, lactancia y formula, porteo, types of feeding, childbirth or caesarean section, and the list goes on and on. The important thing here is to remember something: there is a parenting style for every mom, every dad, every son and every family.
What if which one is the best? From my point of view, the one that best suits the needs of each mother and benefits her family. Let's stop judging how each one raises their children and that each one is free to choose without being criticized or attacked.
And what happens when my upbringing is different from that of my friends?
The first thing we should do is keep in mind everything I have told you in the previous lines. That is the first step in maintaining a friendship when this situation arises: remember that there is a parenting style for each mother.
The following advice I will give you is one that I consider very important: separate friendship from the way of raising. If she is a long time friend, motherhood was probably not what brought them together. Focus on the things that made them friends and allow each one to have the type of parenting you want. You can ask yourself the following: What is worth more? Have your friendship or want to be right all the time?
Remember that your friends are not bad mothers for thinking differently from you. In addition, if they are good friends they will not judge you, nor will they separate you for not thinking like them. It is not a situation of seeing who is better or worse. The best attitude to a situation like this (and with any mother who thinks differently) is to handle it with respect, tolerance and empathy.
Respect for the upbringing of others is peace
In Mexico there is a famous phrase that says: "Respect for the rights of others is peace"Many mothers have taken it to try to promote the same respect for the rights of others, but focused on the differences in parenting that may exist between mothers and we have transformed it into:"Respect for the upbringing of others is peace".
Let's make a truce among moms: I don't judge you and neither do you. We can give advice, share different points of view and even make some observations. But at the end of the day, we must always respect the personal decision of each.
Photos | iStock
In Babies and more | "You are a good mother", the message of a mother to stop judging the maternity of others, The three reasons why mothers who give bottles deserve the same respect as those who breastfeed, Why do most mothers Have you felt pressured by the way you raise your baby?
