At some point in your life, our children will have some history related to poop. But although it is something we know there is always the possibility that it happens, it never ceases to take us by surprise.
Many of these events usually happen later to be a funny anecdote of which we laugh. Others, become a moment that will remain in our memory for the rest of the time, as happened to a father, who He has published the full account of what happened when he found his daughter covered in poop from head to toe.
There is a very famous meme circulating in social networks where we see a boy lying on the floor of his room, with the diaper next to him and everything around him, floor, crib, clothes, toys, everything, full of poop. When we see those who have not lived something like that, we laugh and think "Luckily it has not happened to me!"
To his bad luck, the dad that I want to present to you today, can no longer say that. Jesse is the father of two children, the youngest is a little girl named Alessandra and is the protagonist of the funny horror story they are about to read.
In a hilarious story he posted on his Facebook account, Jesse tells us one day that he will surely not forget soon and that he has many fathers and mothers on the verge of tears ... but of laughter.
It all happened on a day that seemed normal. He had taken his eldest son to school, exercised a little, took the dogs to the garden and began to relax in a space he has for him in the basement of the house. His wife Mayra, who is a fitness instructor, was out giving a class, while her daughter Alessandra slept in her room upstairs.
Taking advantage of the house for him, he decided to hang out on YouTube, watching videos without interruption. Then he wanted to take a piece of the chocolate cake in the kitchen and headed to the ground floor of the house.
As he climbed the basement stairs he felt a foul smell. From the stairs, he checked the basement with his eyes, thinking that perhaps the dogs had been made before letting them out. But then, he realized that the smell was coming upstairs, and so begins this tragicomedy.
I run up the stairs screaming "no, no, no, no" until I reach Alessandra's room. There she was, standing behind the safety barrier, with her buttocks in the air, holding her diaper and covering from head to toe in her own poop. I'm not talking about some poop here and there. I talk about layers of human fecal matter covering your arms, legs, face and HAIR. It's terrible. It's worse than any of the times she decided to explore inside her diaper.
As he comments in his story and in other posts on his Facebook, it seems that the innocent little Alessandra already has a history of "accidents" related to her poop. So he had only one thing left to do: clean everything as he could.
I was tempted to close her door, wait for Mayra to get home and pretend to be sleeping so she had to deal with it. But yesterday was Mother's Day in Mexico and I didn't want to be a jerk. There is literally not a good place to take my daughter to take her to the bathtub, so I just remove the safety barrier so she can walk to the bathroom without loading it. But instead of walking outside her room, she smiles at me and extends her arms so I can lift her. I yell at you in any way. After a brief duel of glances, he walks out of his room, passes by me and heads for the stairs.
At this point I am forced to lift it because the bathroom was not on the ground floor. I use only two fingers at home to lift it from her armpits and I drag my feet until we reach the bathroom. All the time she is in the tub, she tries to touch me with her poopy hands and I scream like a preteen girl while dodging her. After 20 minutes he managed to take all the crap out of his hair, the soles of his feet and his entire body.
Now is the time to enter the room.
Jesse managed to take all the poop off his daughter and just thinking about that I feel laughter and panic at the same time. But the poop-filled show was not over yet, since when he went up to the room the first thing he saw was his daughter and assumed that she had only pooped in the diaper and had muddy herself. But the situation was much worse.
Everything on the right side of the room was covered in baby poop. The walls, the toys, the windows, the curtains, your baby bench, the floor, the baby piano, my hopes, all covered in poop. It seemed as if a category 5 poop storm had passed through his room.
With no idea what to do or where to start before such a show, he decides to call his wife Mayra.
She was coming home and I was on my way to burn our house. I will not go into more graphic details but 2 rolls of kitchen paper, 5 stolen gym towels, 1 bottle of detergent, 1 bottle of chlorine, 1 huge bag of poop-covered toys and two and a half hours later, the room still smelled like the fire of a garbage dump.
I swear I do my best to show these children that I love them, but they turn to me when I least expect it. Alessandra is my favorite daughter, but right now, of my two children, she is the second favorite.
Anyway, I write these tribulations of mine so that my message works as a contraceptive and at the same time instills fear in the hearts of new parents, but also to remind myself that it doesn't matter what is going on, at least I won't clean baby poop again from my daughter's toys again.
Enjoy the photos.
The truth is that although fathers and mothers talk about poops as if we were talking about the weather, when something like this happens, all we want to do is run away from the country and have someone else take care of it.
So you applaud the dad for his bravery (same as if he had been a mom) and hopefully we never have to go through an experience like this. And if yes, take it as well as possible and be able to laugh at it later.
Did something like this happen to you?
