Parents can contribute to our attitude and our words, that the period of adaptation of our children in nursery school is positive and as bearable as possible. But how can we do it?
Rocío and Victoria are teachers, and Denise runs a nursery school. After many years working with young children, they wanted to share with us a series of tips, based on their experience and knowledge, which will make it easier for our children to start the course.
Talk about school in a positive way
The three professionals have agreed to highlight the importance of talking with our children from a positive and stress-free point of view of the school and the course that will soon begin.
Mª Victoria Gómez, teacher and teacher with 10 years of experience, advises us that days before we start we go anticipating children back to school. We can do it through positive messages such as: "when you start school you will play a lot", "you will learn fun things" or "you will make many new friends".
"This usually works very well with children who can already understand us because they have a certain age (one, two or three years). I also advise that children get involved when preparing the material they will need at school, such as example backpacks or babis. This makes them feel good and gain confidence and autonomy. "
In Babies and more Back to school: how to help them overcome the normal syndrome after the holidaysDenise Zarruk, director of the Mozart Children's World School, tells us that she is also very positive visit with the children the school or the school where they are going to attend class, so that they become familiar with the environment. In fact, from their school they invite families to take their children there for the first time, to get to know the educational center in the company of children before the start of the course.
Meanwhile, Rocío Santamarina, Infant teacher with 13 years of experience, emphasizes the importance of do not throw negative messages to children, threatening them with school or with teachers:
"Faced with negative behaviors of children, parents sometimes threaten them by saying, for example," when they see you do this your teacher will scold you, "or" you'll see when you start school! "This is not to be said. never. Messages about school should always be positive, and not talk about it continuously, because we can generate anxiety "
Help us with resources
Denise advises parents to help themselves with resources to explain to the little ones the beginning of the school year, especially if it is the first time they are going to attend nursery school. And sometimes, not knowing where they are going, what their stay in school will hold for them, or where their parents will be while they are at the center can generate a lot of anxiety about the unknown.
"One of the best ways for children to understand and adapt more easily to this new stage is reading, because children identify with the emotions of the protagonists and, knowing the end of the story helps you face your feelings and produces a sense of security in them "- he explains.
Likewise, it advises us to invent formulas for better take the moment of separation, such as painting our child a kiss on his hand, or drawing a car or a star to accompany him all day.
The importance of the adaptation period
In many nursery schools, and even in colleges in early Childhood Education courses, it is Frequently perform an adaptation period of several days duration. With this it is intended that the youngest children adapt gradually to the school, every day a little longer than the previous one.
For working parents, these are very complicated days, since they must ask for permission or adapt their work schedule to that of their children, but Rocío emphasizes the importance of respecting this process and carrying it out according to the guidelines set by the center.
"It is important that parents understand the need for the period of adaptation, because there are many who do not understand it and would prefer that their children start from the first day all day long. But in the case of such young children, gradual adaptation is necessary and should be respected "
On the other hand, it should be noted that there are nursery schools where the adaptation period is done in the company of family members, although not all work the same, and it is not common to find this option when the second cycle of Early Childhood Education begins.
Rocío explains that in the school where he works, parents are not allowed to be with their children in the classroom for the duration of the adaptation period, since in most cases supposed to lengthen the drama of separation. In addition, it points out that on certain occasions many parents could not stay with their children for work reasons, and this can be harmful, and unfair, for some children.
In Babies and moreBack to routine without stress: seven tips for a return to school more bearable Be careful with our reactions!
The day we left our little one for the first time in nursery school is usually very emotional for parents. We have never separated from them before, and we are distressed at the reaction they may have or how they will feel.
This uncertainty we feel is likely to increase if our child cries in disconsolate ways, or if we have to separate from a baby of a few months. But our attitude and our reactions are very important to instill calm and trust to the children, and this is what the teachers emphasize:
"We must live the process naturally and peacefully, and ensure that tickets to the center are fast and as dramatic as possible. If our little one cries, we will say goodbye with a kiss and a quiet hug, and we will tell him that when he leaves we will be waiting for him. And on the way out, no matter how much we want to see our son, we must act again naturally "- advises Victoria.
In the case of babies of a few months, Victoria insists on the importance of instilling tranquility when we separate from them, because although they do not know how to communicate with words what they feel, they perfectly perceive the restlessness, fear and restlessness that adults are able to convey with our gestures
For its part, Rocío appeals to the empathy of adults with other children, and asks that the rules of the center and teachers be respected in regard to the farewell of our children:
"If parents are asked to fire their children at the door, it is important to do so and not go to the classroom with our child, no matter how much he cries. Because if we do not respect this rule other children will wonder why that child can be with his dad or with his mom and not him. And in the end it ends up becoming a vicious cycle and harming the rest of the children. "
To what the teachers said, Denise also advises that it is the parents who take the children to the center in these first days of adaptation, because this will provide them with security and help them better integrate routine change.
Never lie to the child
Although children do not have the concept of the time we have adults, for them it is important to know that we will continue there when they leave school, so it is essential to establish with them a relationship of trust and never lie to them.
"There are parents who tell their children that in five minutes they will be back to pick them up, and although the children do not have the conception of the time that we have, we should never say something like that if they are actually going to stay in the center for several hours. Because in that case we will be lying to you, and that creates insecurity "- explains Victoria.
Attachment object
Attachments can help the baby or toddler overcome separation distress, so Victoria recommends that if the school does not inconvenience, let our son take his stuffed animal or favorite object to class.
"If the child has any object of attachment that calms him, it is advisable to comment on the educational center to see if the child can take it to class. You have to take into account that everything is new for him: his parents disappear and he stays in an environment new and unknown. If you have an object of reference to what he is bound to, he will feel more secure and confident. "
Listen and respect your feelings
Other advice given by these three professionals is that of respect the child's feelings, as well as listen and accompany you in your emotions.
Denise explains with these words what the little boy feels in his first days of adaptation to nursery school:
"The distress to the separation they feel is real, they think their parents will not return, since their brain is not prepared to understand that in an hour they will look for them again. They live in the present and at the moment they are left alone in school or keep you are not and they are in a new place if their attachment figure "
But he tells us that as the weeks go by, the child will mature and begin to understand that his parents still exist even if he cannot see them, that they will come back for him and that everything will be fine during his absence. At this time the process of linking with secondary attachment figures (teachers, educational staff) begins, and the need to discover the new environment around you.
On the other hand, Rocío and Victoria insist on the importance of respect the rhythm of each child, because there will be some that adapt to the school in a matter of days and who, on the contrary needs more time.
"The adaptation period usually lasts, usually between 10 and 15 days but each child sets their own pace. If after a month our child has not adapted, it is important to consult with their teachers or a specialist to find out what is happening "- advises Victoria"Every child is a world and must be respected in its particularity. That is why it is important not to force them and give them the space and time they need. The duration of the adaptation depends on many factors, among which is the character of the child and its degree of maturation "- Rocío tells us.
On the other hand, the teachers remind us that before the beginning of the school year, each child reacts in a different way, and in some cases we can even perceive certain behaviors in our son that had not occurred so far: escapes when he already controlled sphincters , jealousy towards younger brothers, tantrums, nightmares ...
All these situations fall within normality. when we talk about the period of adaptation in nursery school or even in school. It is only a matter of time before everything becomes as before.
Fluid communication and trust in staff
And as a final tip, the three teachers insist on the importance of trusting teachers and staff in charge of our children, although they understand that the first days may seem somewhat chaotic to parents.
"It is important to have patience, both with the child and with the teaching staff. It must be borne in mind that the teacher not only has our son as a student, but many other children, so if our child starts nursery school For the first time, we have to be aware that the teacher will not be able to meet your demands or requests immediately, as we do with him at home "- notes Victoria.
In addition, Victoria also emphasizes the importance of communication between parents and teachers is fluid, in order to reveal as soon as possible any circumstance that we perceive and that can help the child in its adaptation.
"I always advocate a tutoring with parents before the start of the course, because teachers help us to get to know the child better, and gives us clues to know how to treat or calm him when he needs it. But if this is not possible, I advise parents to always communicate any pecualiarity that the child has and that we consider should be taken into account "
The "back to school", and more when our children first start kindergarten, is a difficult time for many families. But we hope that these tips, facilitated by three experienced teachers, can help your children face the adaptation period with enthusiasm and happiness.
Pixabay photos, iStock
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