For the record, I don't complain about this year's gifts. I have to say that there has been everything, things that I needed and things that in no way would have bought me, those that we usually call "whims" and that for me are the real gifts. Do not misunderstand me, especially as the patio is I appreciate any gift, but those who are just that whim that you do not buy because there are too many things before, or because you already have several similar and your partner has threatened to divorce as I return to See another, you know, those kind of gifts.
But there are others who are those dreamed, those who know that the probability of receiving them is almost nil, those who dream and why not, those who only exist in your dreams. Well, here I will talk about those with whom I dream one day and the other too. What I really would have liked the Three Wise Men to bring me
The time Machine
Already at this point in the movie I settle for one that simply delays me a little and lets me scratch a few hours a day, a few hours to rest, to be a little more with my children without thinking about the 18 things that I still have to do, those five more minutes before the start of the day and yes, I recognize it, it would not be bad that one afternoon the time for the children to go to bed could be advanced and that calm finally arrives in my living room .
A toy that is collected alone
Or maybe some system that makes the bedtime once the room is collected without fights, without threats of punishment until they arrive at the university, without tears, etc. Thus, in silence, everything in its place and the floor free of anti-person mines of Lego pieces, car wheels, paints and various plastic pieces in multiple ways impossible to identify. I had thought of an industrial vacuum cleaner, but I have no place at home.
A washing machine that removes stains at first
Enough of promises, enough of misleading advertising. I want something very simple, put a dirty garment and after a reasonable time take it clean. Something simple, right? I could ask for it to be ironed but I don't want to abuse it, stop seeing the t-shirts full of lamparones or being able to retrieve the bibs after a fruit porridge I conform.
A house with sea and garden
One of those that are only seen in the movies and I prefer to think that they are decorated, one of those whose garden is measured in the number of football fields that can be made inside and not in the number of pots that you can place along the border. And sea, deep and wild. I do not care if there is no beach, because I do not like the sand and the sun and I have never been very friends, but the pleasure of a nap near the sea or that of a summer sunset sure saves me from all evil humor accumulated in the last 30 years.
A machine capable of converting any meal into sausages or pasta with tomato
That today it touches fish, because we put it in the machine and we already have magnificent sausages, of course with pork flavor. They have brought cauliflower, straight to the machine and we turn it into macaroni and tomato. Such a machine would mean the end of 70% of the discussions in my house.
An ever hungry dog carpet
That of course we would place under the table to eat the crumbs, the half-banana that always slips, the half-dozen tablespoons of lentils that always end up dumped out of my children's mouths. The three hundred pieces of paper in which the little boy has turned his napkin and I'm sure that if he put them together again, half a dozen napkins of the same size as the original would come out.
The smart agenda
An agenda that you tell her the appointment or the task to be done and she looks for the best possible hole or directly call to cancel that appointment to which we all know that not even a fuck will give you time to go.
Teleportation
The traffic jams, the rush, the alarm clocks ringing three hours before work or taking the children to school, the cries for not being able to see grandparents, uncles, cousins and other family, are over. We want to see the grandfather, warning call to prepare the custard and all to the machine.
Baby instruction manual
I think there are plenty of explanations, I want the user manual of the baby and to be able to be its extended version with the annexes Pre-adolescence, adolescence and twenties. I do not care if it is English, in fact, as if it is in Czechoslovakian, that someone gives it to me that I will already take care of translating it.
These have been my deepest wishes, which I would have really liked to see under the tree last Christmas. And you? What would you really have wanted this Christmas?
